Sincerely Adeline
by Rena Redhead
Summary: The Diary of a Lover: Journal entries of Adeline Kane. Under Jericho because she was his mother in the comics.
1. Chapter 1: Men and Boys

**Disclaimer:** No. No, no, no, and no! I don't own anything that DC Comics owns. I don't own Teen Titans or Deathstroke or anything! Leave me alone so that I can now sulk about it...

**Author's Note:** Alright, I'm back, I'm back. And ready to write for the summer! I've decided to write two multi- chapter stories at the same time. It's a miracle, isn't it? lol. The other story is "Flying" in case you're wondering. Anyway, I'll explain what's going on. This story is meant to be like a Journal/Diary. It isn't every single day, just important days from a supposedly recovered journal. It's going to be seven chapters long and I'll update this at the same time that I do "Flying".

For those of you who know who Adeline is, great. You're already ahead of the game. For those of you who don't, well, you'll get to know her. By the way, I'm not a feminist in any way. Adeline just fits the definition of Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent", okay? So for any boy who reads this, I just want to say I don't believe any of this about boys in advance. Also, I want to say that, yes, I have done my research. It's been modified for the purpose of adapting the story for the cartoon, though. Also, I have made references to several other things in the DC Universe in this chapter. One is Gotham City (please tell me you know what _that_ city is famous for) and the Amazonians (Wonder Woman's people). But anyway, I'll stop rambling on and let you get to the story. May I present "Sincerely Adeline Journal Entry #1: Men and Boys"!

-T-

**Sincerely Adeline**

**Journal Entry #1: Men and Boys**

Dear Journal,

It's about 1900 hours right now. I got the night off, but I'm still here in this office. I can't tell you how much I hate this office and hate doing paperwork. Then again, there are those who probably hate it more than I do. I guess I am here out of my own free will. I hope I'm not becoming a workaholic.

I just finished filing a few reports on some of the performances today. They're... getting better, or at least some of them are. Okay, so half of them are still in the hospital wing of the building because of the barbed wire. That wasn't my fault. I told them to actually put their whole bodies in the mud, not just the torso. And I'm sorry if they can't climb a rope if their hands are all muddy. If you're about to die then, oh well, you get shot in real combat. They just need to listen more... it's not my fault!

As I filed, I got a phone call from my mother out in Gotham. I still don't like Gotham. It was never a real nice place to live. She asked if I could attend a formal get together, but I couldn't and thank goodness for that. I never liked those things. My mother always made me wear the frilliest, biggest dresses when I was girl.

She never let me wear the nice, thin, slim, green one, oh no, never. Just pink and frilly. She wanted to raise me to be a proper lady. I will say this. She was able to force manners down my throat. But every time I'd come in with mud in my hair and wearing a dirty skirt, she'd freak and start screaming her head off.

"ADELINE KANE!!! Wait till your father hears about this. Go upstairs and change, no, wash off that dirt outside, but take your shoes off..."

I'd cower in fear every time, but then go off dancing in the running water. Dad would get home and I'd be sopping wet and ready to tell him that I played baseball with the guys in the diamond lot. He'd smile and once I was cleaned off, he'd teach me something that he learned while in World War II. Mostly, fighting tactics.

Mom never knew. Dad and I were close, but he was still distant. Since Mom would often go see her sisters, I'd be left behind while Dad read for the day. Going to this party, though, would have just made mexzc\ miserable. I think she wants me to get married and plans to play the fairy godmother or something... fairy mother. Whatever.

Yeah right. I hate dating. I hate the men that she's already paired me up with. I hate the men that I pair myself up with! But the worst are the ones who pair themselves up with me. **_They_** drive me nuts, the whole lot of them. Immature, reckless, unintelligent, disgusting, restless men. No, boys. They're all boys. The day I meet a man, shoot me. I mean, really shot me. Because right now, all I've met are boys.

I didn't mention this earlier, but after my mother called, I found out that Walsh was attempting to prank call me. Yes, Bill Walsh, the 'hot shot' who thinks he's all that and a gift to women. Please. He doesn't' even look that good. I picked up the phone and heard noise in the background, a bunch of snickering boys. Idiots. Who doesn't have Caller ID these days? And this building is a US military building! It just proves what incompetent idiots they all are.

I can't stand Walsh. If it was up to me, I'd have kicked him out the instant he walked into this Camp. He's lucky I'm only a captain. He reminds me of the high school jock that was always full of himself and thinking that he was king of the school. In this case, Walsh thinks he's king of the camp, when he fails to realize that the President of the United States runs this place.

I remember one conversation I had with him. It went something like this:

"Walsh, you were in shooting range again."

"So I was out in the open. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that you'd be dead."

"But you could see me."

"Yeah, like I said, you'd be dead."

"You wouldn't dare shoot me though, would you, princess?"

I got mad and kicked him in the gut hard enough to make him fall over. Actually, I would have... aimed lower if that had been allowed. I told him that if he wanted to risk his life on that, he was a moron. And that was in front of all the other soldiers. That taught him a lesson. Apparently, not enough though since he's been 'on the prowl' and making cat calls at me. I wish he'd back off.

But I'll get him. I'll get him eventually. When I do, he's gonna hate me for life. Good. And meanwhile, I've decided to make his training miserable. Okay so I make all of the soldiers lives 'miserable', but they're all a bunch of sissies anyway. Well, most of them are. There are a few that are... good. But even then, they're still probably going to barely pass requirements.

Remember Wade? He was like that. He was pretty sweet too. He at least had the manners and the social graces. But things just got worse after a while. He was so full of himself and constantly threw pity parties. My mother this, my brother that. I honestly wondered what was going on at that house.

I never actually met his family, but I'm sure that they couldn't have been all bad. I sometimes thought it was something he had against them, like they didn't mean to do anything wrong, he just didn't like them. It happens. I mean, he was a gentleman, but the way he talked about them... I wondered if he ever complained to his friends about me or something like that. And he was like a weed that kept growing back.

I sometimes feel bad about breaking up with him, when I told him it was over (when I moved here), he was just so bitter. I don't know, I think I was a bit of a step out of his normal life, which I think he hated. I guess that's why I don't like commitment. You feel guilty when you leave the other person and if they leave you, you feel like trash.

At least now that I've moved, he's gone... I hope. Actually, he always complained that he wasn't good enough, yet if he had taken all of the time that he did whining and had used if for making himself better, he probably could have run for president and won. Thank goodness that he didn't... I guess... maybe? Whatever. It doesn't matter.

This is why men are idiots. They're all full of themselves. Hit me if I ever tell you otherwise. Then you should see some of them on a date. I've been on some where they'll rant on and on or sit there as though afraid I'd bite them like a snake. I know I must sound like an Amazonian, but I don't mean to There are women that are slow and make their brains hollow and their faces artificial too.

Now I must sound like a pessimist. I don't mean to. I'm just tired, that's all. But I train boys to become soldiers. My dad was a man. He was one of the best. They can do it. Any of them, boys or girls, could grow up. If they will is up to them.

It's late, really late. I have tomorrow off too. Maybe I'll go drive down to D.C., to the mall. I haven't seen that in a long time. Maybe I'll visit a Smithsonian or two. A couple monuments and memorials maybe... Then again, maybe not. The drive will take everything out of me. Possibly, if someone went with me... I could probably find a Colonel or another captain. I doubt that I'd ask a soldier.

The beginning of next Monday is when the soldiers go through a couple rigorous tests... :-)... Okay, they're practically murderous, but I can't wait to see the results. I hope Walsh gets cocky. He's going to get what's coming to him. I plan to pair him up with Wilson, Slade Wilson. Wilson's one of the better soldiers. Listens to orders, takes the time to work and train. I think he'll pass.

He's really quiet too, almost like he doesn't have a social life. I think he might have joined the army to get away from his home town, but I don't know. I guess there's a fair number of boys who come here because of that. If that's the case though, he's sure sticking to it. I guess he likes it. When I observe the man, I can always see that he takes things head on. I think it's the adrenaline that he likes, the thrill, the challenge. It's good, because if he didn't, he'd be worse off than most of the soldiers.

I already know that if he's paired up with Walsh, Walsh will be in a bad mood from the start. It isn't that Wilson's annoying. I just think Walsh hates being outdone and while Wilson never tries to outdo anyone, Walsh sees it like that. It's funny, I can normally pick out who's going to be worth something by the end of training regime. Sergeant Slade Wilson, I think he's one of them. Slade already was something before, but he's never cocky about it, never takes any pride in it.

Perhaps Wilson is proof that boys can become men. Laughs, yeah, sure. Just because he's a good soldier, it doesn't make him a man. Even Walsh is somewhat of a good soldier, but he's an immature waste of my time and tax money. Maybe by the end of training we'll see if Slade Wilson is or can be a man.

2000 hours. I need to go home. Maybe that Mosaic I ordered came in. Maybe not. It's a new piece of a piano and an art easel resting on top of it. I need to go before I can't keep my eyes on the road.

Sincerely,

Adeline

-T-

**A/N:** So you now get a taste of what Adeline is like in this story. Please review! I was going for her to seem like a young independent woman who was hard to impress. I'm really sorry for any guys out there who are reading this. I didn't mean for her to rag on you men or anything. You'll probably like the next chapter much better than you did this one if that bothered you. Trust me on that. In any case, I hope you enjoyed chapter one. Later!

Rena


	2. Chapter 2: Fireworks

**Disclaimer:** Yeah right, oh, oh, and I'm also descended from a long line of genies and am here to grant you three wishes. Ha! Now that's a good one. Wait, you were serious? Oh, man, no I don't own Teen Titans. Um, so, uh, yeah...

**Author's Note:** I'm going to say it now. Addie's different here. Not different, different, but different. You see, she's had some sleep and is wide awake and just got home from a wonderful night. So she's not about to go out for blood or anything. I think you will all enjoy this chapter. I found it interesting since it takes place on the fourth of July to reflect that patriotism that Adeline has and this week it _is_ July 4th. A special side note might I add, I've been researching Washington DC for at least forty-five minutes, trying to find good information on it for this chapter. So yes, I've done my research. Now let me shut my mouth and let you read "Journal Entry 2: Fireworks"!

-T-

**Sincerely Adeline**

**Journal Entry #2: Fireworks**

HE PROPOSED!!!

Oh, wait a minute.

Dear Diary,

_**HE PROPOSED!!! HE PROPOSED!!! HE PROPOSED!!!**_

Oh my... He... he... Now, I promise, I didn't just wake up from a dream. I promise. I'm not kidding. He actually did it! He did! I'm... I'm... Okay, I need to breathe. Or at least take off these ridiculously heavy earrings. Alright, that's better. Where to begin? I know I've been flaky with the entries, but you have to understand, it was all worth it. I mean, I was out on dates so late that I would normally just get home and go to bed. Sorry.

So I know what you must be thinking. What happened? I... I... I honestly don't know. I mean, it was all so fast or slow or something... I mean, he took me on a nice date tonight and I didn't really expect anything. But now I must be thinking why didn't I expect anything? It's been over a year now that we've been dating. And he's gone from Sergeant to Colonel. I am so glad that I joined the army otherwise I never would have met him.

It's been so long since I've written, where to begin? Not with tonight, I still need it tall to sink in. Ah! I can't stop looking at the ring on my finger. I wonder how long he had to save up for it. Okay, back to the beginning I guess. I remember when I was training him. I had offered to help him out after he had shown a substantial improvement. I guess I had eyes for him even then.

But I wouldn't let him know it and would make conversation with lines like, "Your balance is good now, but remember that balance and aim are necessary..."

That was so lame of me. I wonder if he ever really noticed that. But either way, I guess it doesn't matter too much now.

Because he proposed. He proposed!

During the sessions, I just, I don't know, I got to know him. He loves horror and suspense flicks. His favorite food is anything from Germany. We talked about random stuff. I told him about my life at that prep school that my mother sent me to and he seemed to sympathize. He told me that his school life was pathetically slow and the kids were more brawn than brain. That's where he learned that he was good at fighting.

I told him about my family and how I learned to respect those in the military from my father. I think he was impressed by the fact that I was a real tom-boy. I liked that he was headstrong, but graceful in etiquette and manners to others. The first date was a couple weeks before he graduated under my regime. I probably shouldn't have gone out with him, it might have given the other men... ideas, but for some reason I said yes.

And I'm so glad that I did!

I mean, it wasn't like day one that he asked me out, but it was gradual and we got to know each other more as friends first. The second date was on a boardwalk. He took me to a remote beach, not full of many people, and the sunset was incredible. I remember some of our conversation. It went like...

"You know, if you ever manage to impress my father, you'd be one of the first." I said.

"Is that where you get your high standards from?"

"I guess it was from both parents." I answered, "What about you, Slade? Where did you get your manners from?"

He laughed and asked, "Aren't all men born with it?"

So he had a sense of humor and he was smart, too.

"The sunset is gorgeous." I commented... I think that's what I said.

"It's due to the ozone layers." he said after that.

Okay, so maybe that was simple stuff, but I don't know, you should see him really. Not me talking about him, but really see him. Slade's IQ is incredibly high, not like genius high, but still high. On another date, I remember he let me choose where to go. I chose to go driving around. We passed by a mall and walked in. By the end of the night, we had eaten at some fast food place, I had gotten him into a photo both, and when we left Nordstroms, we danced while a pianist played in the middle of the store.

But you know what was the most wonderful date? It was tonight. He picked the perfect day, the Fourth of July, and he took me down the DC Mall for the fireworks in front of the Washington Monument. It was beautiful. We went out to sit on the lawn and the ground was covered with soft grass, not yet effected by the summer's heat.

We had driven out earlier and were able to look around before getting good seats. Slade pointed out buildings nearby and the monuments and we talked about them on and off. The Capital, the White House, the Jefferson Memorial, the Smithsonians... It was a good conversation. He seemed a little edgy though, even through out the night, as though he was nervous. I think that should have been my first hint.

We had dinner and waited for the fireworks to start. We saw friends there, including his friend William, surprisingly (Will's British). I think I happened to catch a glimpse of Walsh, too. But in any case, we watched the concerts and singers and finally, the fireworks were about to start. I was sweating from the humidity and from the fact that I had been dancing.

I don't think Slade had been dancing like I had, but he was still sweating, too. I could smell the scent of his strong colonge and could see the sweat coming through his T-shirt while it made his face shine while his wavy hair clung to his head. My hair was so out of place and was messy like I'd never get the knots out of it, while my earrings were somehow still in my ears and dangling. I felt my t-shirt want to cling to me as I grabbed at it to help myself keep cool. And I finally looked at him in the eye for the first time that night.

His eyes were for the first time ever, like no expression I had ever seen before. They were unreadable, yet so defined. The fireworks began to go off around us, but my eyes never left his. He knew what he was about to do, even though I didn't. As people around us shouted amongst themselves, Slade talked normally it what was now, a whisper in the midst of the shouting.

"Addie?" He got down on his knees and I slowly stopped to watch him as he took my hand.

He started to ramble a bit, starting by saying 'I'm not really a very... expressive man'. I don't remember it all, but he said that 'He never thought that any woman would ever make the impression that I had made on him'. And then something like 'There wasn't anyone else that he'd like to live his life with'. And that's really when I realized what he was doing. He pulled out a small black box from his pocket.

"Adeline Kane, will you marry me?" he asked as he opened it up to reveal a beautiful diamond ring.

Never in a million years did I think that I'd answer what I answered. Actually, I couldn't answer then. I just nodded, then I was finally able to speak.

"Yes... I will."

He smile was the most genuine smile I'd ever seen in my life time. He pulled the ring out while I held out my hand as the booming of the fireworks sounded and they played "The Star Spangled Banner". Once it was on my hand, I realized how much I was shaking, quivering.

He stood up and kept his eyes on me, waiting for what I'd do next. What I did, surprised even me. I jumped up and threw my arms around his neck, while giving him a wonderful kiss. He held me back and spun me around so that for some moments, I felt my feet flutter above the ground. When the moment was over, I laughed.

"So, we're engaged?"

"I guess so." he answered.

I couldn't believe what just had happened tonight. I couldn't believe a man had the guts to ever ask me that.

"How is it that you were able to even ask me that?"

After I asked, he looked at me seriously and answered, "I love you, Adeline. That's how."

Who would ever think? I'm engaged! I have to call everyone I know! I'm still lying on my bed writing, in my sweaty clothes, just writing because I don't know what to do now. I still can't believe anything that's just happened. I hope Mom approves of him.

I can't believe I found my 'Prince Charming', which I think I had made a very hard thing to do to. And to think that I didn't even think about that when I first met him! And he's everything that I wanted. Intelligent, smart, strong, a gentleman, a military man, understanding, and patient. And he cares for me. How did I get so lucky? How did I find a man like this? It doesn't seem logical. There's no denying he's a patient man, that's for sure.

I wonder what he saw in me that made him like me. If someone were to ask me that, I don't think I'd be able to answer it myself. I wonder what our life will be like. I wonder if we'll still stay active in the military. I wonder if we'll have kids and what their names will be and what they'll look like. I wonder where we'll live and what we'll do.

All I know is that I'm engaged to the most wonderful man in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I keep glancing at the ring on my finger and feel like screaming, I'm so happy. Mrs. Adeline Kane Wilson, Mrs. Wilson, Adeline Kane Wilson, I like it. But I must have sounded like some love sick school girl right there, sorry. I can't believe this! I'm engaged. We both want to stay active in the military and we want to get married in the winter. So in about half a year, I'll be wearing a _wedding_ ring!

I know that through all of this, I might sound more like someone who just got home from their first date. But really, I guess, honestly... I think that the reason I'm so happy is because, well...

I love him.

And I know that he loves me.

I get that phrase now, the one that goes like: 'Don't let the one you truly love go, or your life isn't going to be worth living'. It's true. I love him. I love him with all of my heart. I've never really felt this way about anyone in my life and I don't think I ever will. What sort of thing had I possibly done to have Slade love me like I love him? Whatever the reason, I can't help but not care as long as this happiness stays with me.

I know that this is really short, but I've got to go to bed and calm down. I'll write more soon. But now there's the planning and the invitations and getting, gasp, a dress, so don't kill me if I'm late again.

Sincerely,

Adeline (Kane soon to be Wilson!)

-T-

**A/N:** Wow, so I guess someone should go and hit her since she told someone to do so in the last chapter if she ever said anything like that, lol. So, how was it? Did you like it? Now isn't that sweet of Slade to go through all of that trouble and to propose on the Fourth of July? Yes it is. Remember, Adeline's a little star-struck right now, so we'll see how things continue. Please Review! I really hope you liked it! Happy Fourth of July! Later!

Rena


	3. Chapter 3: Words and Actions

**Disclaimer:** Yeah sure, and I also totally expected Dumbledore to die in book 6 of Harry Potter. Um, wrong!!! I don't own Teen Titans or Deathstroke or anything that is DCs. And no, I didn't expect Dumbledore to die and no, I haven't finished the 7th book yet, so don't ruin it for me! (I'm only on page 250 or something).

**Author's Note:** I know, I know, it's late! And I feel terrible about it. Sorry, I've been so busy this week. I saw like four movies this week (Transformers, Hairspray, Transformers, Ratit-whatever it is, I can't spell it) and was rushing around all week and then the Harry Potter book! Don't get me started on waiting for it while in line! Such torture! Anyways, I'm actually really happy with this chapter. It ends on something that most people don't really pick up on with this couple. So let me let you read it! 'Journal Entry #3: Words and Actions"!

-T-

**Sincerely Adeline**

**Journal Entry #3: Words and Actions**

Dear Journal,

Is it possible for my hand to be shaking more? Is it possible for it to stop? Slade got a letter in the mail today. It... It...

Why can't life be fair? Why can't I get a grip on myself? I knew that this might happen. I knew it. But everything was just going... so smoothly. So perfectly. The wedding, it was wonderful. It was a glorious feeling to put on that dress and walk down that aisle. The anticipation before hand, it made me jittery and energetic. It reminded me during the tough times between them to keep holding onto.

I loved that after a day of planning for the wedding, Slade and I would take a walk. Just a walk, anywhere, I didn't really care where. Just as long as we were together for that short thirty or sixty minutes. It made me feel at peace and calm. I loved the feeling of his hand in mine, his strong, rough hand holding mine like it was porcelain. And when he'd give me his jacket during the chilly evenings... It made me know I was doing something right.

My mother was actually wonderful when it came to finding a dress and planning the after party. It was a lace filled dress, but in a light, elegant manner. It had a silkiness to it. And it made me feel like I was lighter than air sometimes. I still remember the ceremony. I felt that jittering in my stomach. I remember holding the flowers in my hands and then the doors opening.

The swords all were pulled out and raised by Slade's unit. I looked through the veil I was wearing and slowly stepped forward, walking on petals that had been thrown over the white carpet. It was so... so... so much like a fantasy. I guess that's what that day in a girl's life is supposed to be like. And it was for me.

And just getting up to the alter. Slade was dressed in his Army uniform, with all of his medals shining. The smile, on his face, he just brightened up when I came in. You don't know how wonderful a feeling that was just to see that. It wasn't something that I expected and to know that your presence in a room will make one person happy, it's incredible.

The 'I do's' became more than a saying, it became a commitment. They were given meaning. It just, the experience of a wedding, it was, alive. It was real. It was everything that I had never actually dreamed of, but everything that I needed. Even though I never really wanted a man, it became so wonderful when I found a man that loved everything about me. Slade didn't care about my flaws or my weaknesses.

I knew that he didn't. I knew it when he put that ring on my finger that that was true.

I know that this might seem like a fantasy. I know that to most, he's not the romantic type. I'm not saying that he is. He doesn't write poetry, he doesn't give me flowers on a regular basis or give me chocolates or anything like that. But he does things that make me smile. He does the little things. And it makes all the difference.

Kissing him once we were 'man and wife', I felt like Cinderella's Happily Ever After was happening to me. He picked me up and carried me to the car where we drove to the airport. I think he toned up a little more for this, too.

The ride to the airport was an adventure in itself. Slade kept sneaking side glances at me until he finally almost landed us both in the hospital. I took the wheel after that, but was surprised when I started to do the same. All in all, I was surprised that we made it to the airport in one piece. As we got out, the following conversation (from what I remember) started.

"I'll carry the stuff, Addie," He said, as he opened the trunk.

At that, I got out, my clean white wedding dress brushing the garage floor, and picked up three suitcases and said, "I think I can handle it."

He chuckled and muttered, "You are _Mrs._ Wilson."

I hit him on the head with a small bag after that and smiled, "You are so lucky I married you."

And of course, he had a smart remark, "And no one knows that better than me."

The stares that we got at the airport! It was so funny to see everyone pointing behind our backs. An older woman even came up and told us congratulations at which Slade straightened up proudly and I shook her hand and said 'thank you'. After we dropped off our luggage, Slade offered to carry me the rest of the way.

Even though I knew I was blushing when I heard that, I told him he'd have to catch me first. With that, I ran off in my heels, knowing he was probably shaking his head, but was about to follow. In less then thirty seconds, I had turned in my ticket and ran past after being checked into the waiting area. In no time, I heard his shoes right behind me. It must have been quite a site. I looked behind and had laughed at seeing him being so careful as to not step on my dress or veil. Finally, I felt myself being lifted up after an impossibly fun chase that we weaved in and out of seats and small stores.

He carried me aboard the plane where I actually flew as a passenger on vacation. We made it to Florida and got on the cruise liner that would take us to Bermuda (my mother was paying, go figure). It was such a beautiful trip. Slade and I took an afternoon run along the decks everyday. While at sea, I would go to the spa while he'd work out in the gym. I think he made some of the men there look bad. grins.

When we got to Bermuda, the pink beaches were the first places we visited and we went snorkeling at our first beach, Horseshoe Bay. It was gorgeous. The colors were just plain brilliant. Then we got out and went over to a pre-set volleyball net. It was a one-on-one game and when I started to beat him, Slade tackled me in the sand and I couldn't free myself because I just kept on laughing my head off. I swear, I couldn't stop laughing to the point where my lungs were about to burst.

I will say that Slade isn't the type to talk much and he and I had more intellectual conversations than romantic. I don't know exactly how to describe it. We're both young and even though we're both well trained soldiers, he's able to make me smile with an old school boyish charm. Honestly though, I trust his actions more than his words. There's always meaning behind the things that he says. It's almost like a treat because he's so firm and strong in things even if they are so up to debate. It's the things that he does that make me love him, more so than his words though.

I learned a lot about him that week. He keeps on and off a small journal for important dates, and if he could, I think he'd spend at least half of his life in the gym. He loves to push himself and never resists a challenge, mentally or physically. He can be very protective too, over those he cares about. He loved visiting the historical sites more than anything, especially the old forts. They were having a fair while we were there and he didn't hesitate if I asked him to go on the rides. In fact, I think he enjoyed it as much as I did. Sometimes I think there's something in there that makes him addicted to adrenaline rushes... thrills. Yet he can be so composed, too.

Our last night in Bermuda, we had come from shopping on Main Street and had gone to watch the sunset at Shelly Beach. It was a deserted pink beach and the water was changing colors at the light. It was the best memory of the honeymoon. We had sat down on the sand and were in total silence. He wrapped his arm around me and I just felt entirely safe, ready to slumber against his chest. His cologne was mostly gone now and instead, the sweet smell of beach and sea spray littered us both. He calmly watched the scene in front of us, all the while, stroking my hair. The only words that were said were 'I love you' the whole night.

The romantic realism of it all was very visible then. For a while after we got home, it took time to get back to the 'realistic' world of 'war and economics'. But I felt better when I got home. I liked the kiss on the cheek in the mornings and evenings. Life came down to the normal again, but it was that much better. I guess I got used to it, though. I didn't notice what all of it really meant.

Until now...

Slade came home tonight. He didn't kiss me or say 'hello' or even eat dinner. His hands were clenched while his jaw was tight. I asked him what was wrong. He said nothing was wrong. He just brooded. In the evening, I had gone to bed, but was woken up by Slade shaking my shoulder. I asked him what it was and he asked me to get dressed and get in the car. Seeing the seriousness in his tone, I did as he told me to and we soon were driving. Driving nowhere, for a whole hour until Slade decided on a course.

He drove into DC and parked by the mall. We got out and walked. He held my hand tightly until he stopped and I realized where we were. Right where he had proposed. He faced me and looked me in the eye. For a second, I was scared that he didn't think things were working out, that he wanted a divorce. My throat became tight as I rattled off memories in my head and tried to think of why he would want something like that. But that wasn't it at all. It felt much worse when I heard it.

His words are still ringing in my ears, "Addie, you know that I love you, right?"

I nodded, not knowing where this was going, but listening attentively.

"Well, I um, I got a letter today, from the General," My eyes jumped for a moment. I didn't like where this was going at all.

"They want me to... I..." He struggled, "Addie, I wouldn't but... They called me to serve in the war for at least a year."

A year.

By this time I had started shaking, my hands trembled for the first time.

I barely asked, "When?"

"In three to five months."

That was the answer. I felt my eyes water. This shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have cried, but I started to. I knew he would have probably been called. I knew it, but why now? I saw Slade's blue eyes move down and I looked down too at where he was looking. He was looking at my hand which I had moved unconsciously over my stomach.

I was three months in.

I started to sob. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he held me, his lips pursed; he was trying to show me that he wasn't afraid. But there's no denying that men are afraid of bullets. My knees shook and soon we were both kneeling on the ground together. I asked him things. I objected to things. I cried over things. And he just held me and kept whispering things in my ear:

'I'll be okay.'

'Please don't cry.'

'I'll be back.'

'I love you.'

It was so hard to come to grips with the fact that not only was my husband going off to war, but I would be giving birth alone; he wouldn't be with me. It seemed like forever, but after an hour Slade lead me back to the car. We passed fountains and buildings and monuments. It all blurred together. I must have fallen asleep because when the car stopped, it was the next thing I was aware of.

We got out of the car and he hugged me. He kept saying that he was sorry and that he'd write every day that he could. Even though I'm still shaking, I think that's when I started to feel better somewhat. We went back to bed and hugged me and kissed my forehead. He said that he loved me and he wouldn't be there to helped me and that it killed him. Silently, I thought about Martha Washington and admired her for how she handled our first President going off to a war. It struck me at how often Slade had said that night that he loved me. It was more often than I had ever heard him say it.

I told him in a whisper, "I'm proud of you, for what you're doing for our country."

He looked at me shocked. It was like we silently understood each other without words for a moment. He loved me more than the country he lived in, yet I understood that that made him want to fight and defend the country even more. He knew that I loved him and that I was okay with him going, too. However small a moment it was, it made me stop crying and able to kiss him. For a while we talked, talked about things that would happen while he was away. I think I never stopped fidgeting or shaking even a bit, though, as we talked. But I was calmer.

One good thing came out of this night. We picked a name for our baby (If it's a boy; Slade hopes it will be).

The name will be: Grant Wilson.

I like it, both of us like it. I'm happy about that. It's a strong name. I'd write more, but I'm about to fall asleep and the sun's almost up. I'll write soon, probably.

Sincerely,

Adeline

PS. Okay, okay, if it's a girl the name will be Gabriela.

-T-

**A/N:** So what do you think? I do want to mention that this takes place before 9/11. So please, don't go running down the halls of an airport unless you want to get arrested or something. It's just not smart. For more information, ask your parents or someone who frequently flies and knows what to do and what to not do at an airport or while on a airplane. So now that that's done, please review! I think that this is the peak of Addie's dance on cloud nine, but who knows? In any case, please tell me what you thought. Later!

Rena


	4. Chapter 4: Hospitals

**Disclaimer:** I'm driving in a limo with big names and cash is the cushioning in the seats. Ah... life doesn't get much... wait! No!!! No! Where did all the money go? What? I'm here? Screams, I was just day dreaming, sorry. So I guess you get it by now, I don't own Deathstroke or Teen Titans. Now I have to deal with it.

**Author's Note:** So, where did we leave off in this woman's life? Oh yes, I remember. She's married and going to have her first kid and... her husband's going off to war. That's not good. Not good at all. I've been addicted to writing this story for the past two days and have gotten two chapters done. Well, that means that you guys get the chapters sooner! I'll let you get to reading the story. Presenting: 'Hospitals'!

-T-

**Sincerely Adeline**

**Journal Entry #4: Hospitals**

Dear Journal,

In some ways, this trip to the hospital was worse than the last one. But at least we're home and Slade's finally home with us. The last trip was when Grant was born. I by no means am saying that Grant was a misfortune. It was just hard for me, and no, it wasn't because it was child birth (although that pain didn't make the trip any better). The month before Grant was born was when they finally called Slade to go overseas. I was lucky in that regard.

The night that Grant was born, I had been in the hospital for the two days. I never have appreciated my mother more. Give me the cramps any day! The pain of child birth is way worse. Lots of blood and sweating and screaming and gasping in pain. I honestly kept wishing it would just be over and that it was all a bad dream.

I remember holding onto one of the wrists of the nurse's. She said that I had been cutting off her blood circulation and my nails were clawing into her skin. I had let go and had grabbed the pillow pressing my face against it. I remember constantly dreaming back and forth about where Slade was. I didn't know where he was and I kept wishing that somehow, he'd come running into the room and let me hold his hand even if he knew I'd break his fingers. But no such thing happened.

I didn't know it at the time, but while I was giving birth, Slade had landed and was out on the war front, dealing with bullets and gunfire and shells. I just had to put up with it. Until finally, something happened and I knew that I didn't have to push any more. Then, there was crying. I finally lifted my head and saw a crying little red face. I lost my strength. I'd never had to deal with anything so painful.

Later when I could actually lift my arms, I finally saw the little bundle that was what I had gone through all that pain for. It was a healthy baby boy, with very little hair. When he woke up, he looked up at me and smiled softly. The first thing I thought was that he took after his father like that. The soft smiles. Once I had recovered (two days later), the nurses let me take Grant home. There was never someone who could have measured up to Slade when it came to comparing my love until Grant. He was fussy and he cried and I barely got any sleep, but he was such a wonderful new bundle of joy in my life.

I wrote Slade the week after. I hadn't had the chance before. The first thing that I said was that he had competition now and to look at the picture that I sent with it. It was a picture of Grant and me while I held a camera above our faces. I told him that Grant was a healthy baby boy and the nurses said that he was strong little guy, too. I think my letter was one of the few things that probably made him smile while he was gone.

I got letters. He said that war was horrible. He said that he'd walk around the camps and see things. He said that he'd have nightmares of being out and finding someone he knew and considered a friend to be dead only to wake up to another nightmare. On some letters, I saw dried tears at the bottom. He reserved the bottom for words of comfort and telling me that he'd be home soon. The letters got worse. Slade sounded stressed, something very unlike him. It broke my heart when I'd read small requests such as a picture of Grant learning to walk or for me to spray my perfume on the next letter.

They say that war changes men. As Grant got older, I got more sleep. I was able to find time for myself while he slept. I tried to read, I tried to keep my mind off the war. I canceled the newspapers and quit watching the news, for fear that I'd see something about the war and start crying. Grant's first word was 'mom'. He said it when he saw me crying over a letter of Slade's. In the letter, he had told me that he had gotten grazed by a bullet on the arm. He said that he was okay, that it just brushed him, but I cried. Only a foot over and it could have killed him. I'd have never seen him for the rest of my life and Grant would have never met his father.

I cried a lot. But I never cried as much as when I was at the airport and Slade came home. Will was with me and the second that I saw Slade, I felt like I was dreaming and seeing some distant memory of him instead. Somehow, my legs moved and I was able to run up to him. He picked me up and spun me, holding me so tightly. I know that he must have felt me heave a breath as I sobbed. He set me down and kissed me and I felt like rivers were coming out of my eyes.

He wiped my face and said, "I'm home."

Will cleared his throat, apparently feeling a little awkward. He held up Grant's seat and I had never seen Slade's eyes sparkle as much as they did. We walked over to Grant, who was wearing a camouflaged outfit that day. His blond hair was neat and when he first saw his father! They stared at each other like they had never seen anything like the other. I picked Grant up out of his seat and held him up for Slade to hold him. Slade carefully took Grant and bit his lip, trying to repress the large smile that was coming. He failed.

"So, you're the one I've heard so much about?" That's what he said.

Grant only looked up at him and started to reach for the goatee Slade had grown while he was away. That would have to go. I made him shave it off and take a shower once he got home. The first night that he was back, there was no noticeable difference in him. But as time passed, it became noticeable. Like the book, All Quiet On The Western Front. Slade had seen things not meant for man's eyes. He seemed like he had grown up more, but he was happy to be back where the philosophy was 'love', not 'war'. He would wake up in the middle of the night though, sweating and panting and scaring me half to death. I'd grab his face and make him look me in the eye and I'd tell him it wasn't happening. Whatever _'it' _was...

Time passed though, and Slade returned to normal, even if he was a bit more restrained in expressing himself at points in time. He took to Grant instantly. He'd help me if Grant woke up in the middle of the night and he'd play with Grant in his spare time. Grant was a tough kid and Slade kept saying it over and over again. Grant grew to be two. Slade, Grant, and I would go to the park for walks. Whenever we stopped, he'd take Grant and let him walk around and then suddenly, run out of nowhere and throw Grant up into the air and catch him, while Grant laughed gleefully.

Grant started to resemble Slade. It was already apparent that he had inherited Slade's hair and eye color, not to mention his chin, too. It was sweet just watching them. They were like each other, Grant already trying to be tough like his father, but he'd always ask for a kiss goodnight from me a second time, when his father had left the doorway.

I haven't said why Slade went to the hospital, yet, have I?

Well, even though he served in the war, Slade didn't stop working for the Army. He continued working, training soldiers as I did and going around doing various jobs that they assigned him to do. I don't know why he didn't resign. He didn't have to keep working. We were doing okay with financial issues. And after what happened while he was away... I didn't think he would want to continue.

But he did. I asked him once why. He said it was the least that he could do for the country. I don't think that's the real reason. Maybe part of it is loyalty, maybe it's what he knows and is comfortable with. I don't think he even knows the reason. But because I wanted him to be happy, I let him continue to work.

And I guess it was because I loved him and knew that he wanted to do it that I let him accept the assignment. But I begged him not to. I've never liked science experiments, especially when they are neither needed or required. Will had dropped by for lunch. We were all in the back yard. Grant was playing in the sprinkler while Slade and I had run into the sprinkler while trying to avoid being pushed to the ground and into the mud by the other. I had run into the house and passed the front door while going in to find some towels. The mail had come and I picked it up and gave Slade his mail when I came back out.

He read the letter over a couple times. Over the next week, he made the calls to ask about it. It was a procedure that they were testing to make men resist truth serums. He didn't tell me about it until two weeks later. He seemed willing and eager to do it, but I was skeptical. I didn't like it. He said that he had called and asked and they said that they didn't think that it would do any permanent damage if any at all. I still said 'no'.

It took him a week, but he finally started to wear me down. I was tired of it and there was a pleading in his voice whenever he asked. I think the only thing that made me keep saying no was the thought of Grant and my fear that I'd lose him. I'd experienced that once. I didn't want to go through it again. He kept promising that he'd be in and out after three days.

Ha, I thought that three days were long. On the second day, Will came over. I had been reading Poe when he rang the doorbell. I was immediately shocked at the look on his face. Will might as well have been an older brother to Slade and he looked worried. I've never seen him like this. He said that there had been an accident. I called a babysitter and as soon as she got there, I left with Will. They wouldn't let me see him. They wouldn't even tell me what happened other than the fact that he was now unconscious.

I remember yelling, "You said that there wasn't a chance that anything would go wrong!"

And the snide comment that the nurse gave me, "We're just the medics, we're not government scientists miss."

I could tell that Will was startled and more worried about my reaction than anything. I felt my face contort and hissed, "He's. My. Husband."

"I'm well aware of that, Mrs. Wilson. Now please, go wait in the waiting room like everyone else."

I felt my knuckles become white. Will put his hand on my shoulder. I turned but wouldn't let the last word go that easily, "He has a son. He's the father of my boy."

I don't know if she heard me, but it got some of my anger out. The doctors wouldn't see me till eleven the first evening. Then after a while, I didn't see them at all. I'd bring Grant and wait in the waiting room with Will. Grant didn't know what was going on. His only questions the entire time were 'Where's Daddy?' and 'Can we get lunch, Mommy?' He'd fall asleep around seven and I'd wait up until I couldn't any longer.

When a week passed, I was finally able to see Slade. But still, he wasn't conscious. He was breathing slowly and his general appearance had become paler. Even his hair to some extent, was blonder. They finally told me that they weren't sure what caused it. But they knew now that what had shut him down to this level had something to do with adrenaline and how his body and mind were using the energy.

He wasn't using enough energy and his mind had been registering it as a normal. It had been continuing to fluctuate up and down abnormally too. But on average, had continued to drop lower than before. The reason that they had brought me in was because recently, his mind started to show higher brain stimulation and was moving slowly back to a normal level of activity. He should wake up soon.

Somehow, it angered me that they hadn't let me see him sooner. Was their plan to just let him die and not let me just see him once before then? Were they expecting him to die and just weren't telling me? Had this turn of luck been their ticket out of jail time for murder or something?

They told me that even if he returned to a state that would allow him to go about his daily life, they would probably not allow him back into the Army to fight. I started to cry. I did know one thing about why Slade continued to stay in the Army. It was because he liked to fight on and push himself. And from what they had just told me, he would never be able to do that again. Slade finally woke up about two days later. They finally let Grant come in and see him. He asked him one thing:

"Daddy, can we go home and play football?"

I could see disappointment flicker in Slade's eye as he told Grant, "Sorry, sport, can't, not right now anyway."

I bit my lip at that. And now two days later, Slade and I left the hospital, Grant tugging on his arm to get lifted up. He seems fine now. But he's still tired. It's not like he's tired in an older manner, more like tired as in he's-the-new-guy-who-just-worked-his-first-night-shift tired. He's still his normal self and he's happy to be back home. Well, he was happy. He got a call in the evening from the General. The shouting started like a normal conversation.

"Hello... What... You can't do this!... General, I understand that I'm still not in the greatest health, but I'm getting better... You can't discharge me! Do you remember what I did for..." He yelled on the phone with every bit of energy that he had.

It scared Grant. I put him to bed and when I had come back, Slade was leaning over the counter, a glass of water in his hands. He looked aggravated and said, "You were right, Addie. I shouldn't have agreed to do that. They discharged me."

I knew how much that hurt him. I said that I'd try to pull some strings, just as long as he never did something like that again. He nodded, but didn't think it would do much good. But he's still happy to be home. Before going to bed, he kissed me on the cheek lightly and muttered, "Love you, Addie."

I guess I know our lives are changing now. Somehow. I can feel it. I don't know what we're going to have to deal with, but as of now, I feel more of a gratitude that our situation isn't worse. I still have my two golden boys. And they're both home and safe and sound. Life's ups might be fleeting from my grasp, but hopefully I'll learn to catch them again. I should go to bed. It's eleven and I promised to make Grant pancakes with strawberries in the morning. (He wants to celebrate since his father's home.)

Sincerely,

Adeline

-T-

**A/N:** I hate hospitals. The way they smell and they just make me so depressed... sorry. I just don't like hospitals. I have a friend working in one and I don't know how she does it. Oh, and if you're wondering if that actually did happen during the time that Addie was pregnant, it is true, Slade wasn't there when Grant was born because he was fighting in a war (In the Judas Contract, written in 1984, he was fighting in Vietnam). Please review! Tell me what you thought! Be back soon! Later!

Rena


	5. Chapter 5: A Father And His Sons

**Disclaimer:** You're kidding, right? Please don't tell me you actually believe that I own these characters or anything of the likes. You're crazy if you do. I don't own Teen Titans or Deathstroke. Hope that clears everything up (rolls eyes for the 1,000th time).

**Author's Note:** Hello again. I sure hope that everyone's having a good summer. I can't believe that it's coming to a close soon, can you? Let's forget about that for now and dive into fantasy, shall we? You're going to find that time has certainly passed for Addie in this chapter. So onto the story; Enjoy!

-T-

**Sincerely Adeline**

**Journal Entry #5: A Father And His Sons**

Dear Journal,

I was cleaning out some of our stuff today and I found you. Makes me feel bad actually. Sorry. I don't know why you went into storage. Please forgive me for it. I'm trying to think about what's happened between the last time I wrote and now. Things have gotten better, that's for sure. There's been so many changes. Slade getting better, Joey, Grant starting school... Shall I go in order?

Well, after Slade was dismissed, it was all highs and lows. For a while, he was miserable, sometimes bed-stricken. It was horrible to watch him. I hated it, every minute of it. And I guess it was because I knew what hurt him more than the pain he was suffering was that he couldn't do anything and that nothing would help. We talked a lot more during that time. Since he wasn't able to do much, I'd get him books. Grant and I would go to the local Borders and stop in getting a book on whatever subject I thought would interest Slade.

He seemed to like that. Slade, not Grant. Grant wasn't really into books. But every day it seemed, Slade would read them and nearly finish them. I think he liked to read since it was something to do. He enjoyed reading about anything from the military to electronic configurations to martial arts. I think it finally made him want to try and really get up. One morning, I was making breakfast when I heard footsteps.

I called, "Grant sit down and wait for your breakfast."

I jumped when I felt someone tap me on my shoulder. I turned around and there he was, smiling at me. I nearly screamed. Actually, I did.

Grant came running in yelling, "What is it Mom? What is it?"

Slade turned his head to see Grant and Grant stopped jumping up and down and literally ran and jumped into his Dad's arms.

Slade fell over, but laughed as Grant screamed, "You're up? How are you up? But you're up! Do you want to go play in the park or go swimming or..."

Finally I cut in because I didn't think it was best if Slade exerted himself much. I pulled Grant off and sat him down on his stool.

Slade sat up and smiled at me while I whispered, "How?"

"How what?"

"You're up? You feel well enough?"

"I feel great, why?"

"It just, I can't believe it... Do you want to maybe go see a doctor?"

"Why? They said that this might be the case. Plus, who knows what they'll do to me next?"

I rolled my eyes and turned back to cooking. He stood up and I felt him rest his chin on my shoulder while holding me in his arms as I cooked. He rocked me back and forth. I saw Grant make a 'yuck' face out of the corner of his eye. Finally I asked Slade what he was doing. He kissed me for an answer and said 'Thank you.'

From there, Slade seemed okay... for a while. He seemed to want to make up for lost time. We'd all go out as a family on some days and do random stuff. Sometimes, it would be just him and Grant and other times, it would be just me and him. But it didn't last. One time, we were swimming in our pool and he and I were playing tag in the deep end of the pool. I don't even know what happened. We have a pretty big pool, despite it being private. (My mother passed away and left me the rest of the family fortune; not much but enough, if you know what I mean).

I was chasing him and was thinking that this was nearly impossible when suddenly, he just stopped. It didn't register that there was anything wrong really until I was a couple yards away. He just started to sink. I quickly sped up and reached for his arm, it was limp. Diving down, I grabbed him around the chest and started to pull him up. When I hit air, I remember screaming for Grant to get out of the pool and to get me a towel. I remember barely anything about it other than somehow managing to drag Slade back inside once he woke up. He didn't even know what had happened.

I told him to take it easy, but that was never an 'easy' thing for Slade. Once he got his strength back this time, it was abnormal, like I'd never seen, strong, really strong. But the same thing happened. He just fainted one day while we were at a block party. His eyes went wide and then he passed out. Then he'd wake up and be back to normal. Then again, he'd be way too weak. It was the weirdest thing and it kept happening for about six months. Finally, it stabilized. I don't know why and neither does he, but it did.

He liked to teach Grant about the Army and play sports with him. Once they got back, I'd try to teach Grant to read and do simple math. For a while, everything was back to normal. Slade was, I think, a little tired of not really being able to do anything, though. So he'd run in the mornings and do other things to keep active, but remain at a reasonable level just in case something happened again.

I did the normal. I still worked for the Army doing a home desk job (I didn't want to stay active since I thought it would have been a tease to Slade). So everything was pretty much okay then. And I guess it was around that time that I got pregnant for a second time. Remember I mentioned someone named Joey? That's Joseph William Wilson. And he's our second son in the family. He's a complete angel. I think Grant's been a little jealous, but it's good for him. He needs to learn to share and be a sibling.

Wow, it's been such a long time since I've written. Grant's started school. He's almost in 3rd grade and wants to start in a private Military Academy when Middle School rolls around. He wants to be like his father, which I think makes Slade proud in a way. Joey still hasn't started elementary school yet, but he loves to do small arts and crafts at home. Often, Grant will want to wrestle Joey and the older brother always tends to win. He's getting too cocky about it, though. One day, Joey came in crying and ran to their room, slamming the door and locking it, which isn't like Joey at all.

It was the first time I'd ever seen Slade so... mad. And it really wasn't about Grant beating Joey, it was that he was flaunting it. I can see why that would make Slade mad, or madder than Grant winning. As Slade stood there over Grant, who was covered in mud, I went to go get Joey, who wouldn't come out of his room. I went to go get the key and found him starring at a small teddy bear; he didn't look up at me when I came in. Joey's a sweetheart. He's not very sensitive himself, but he is sensitive to others. But he does seem to take it hard that he's not as... well, not at Grant's level yet. Which is perfectly understandable since they are at different ages.

Finally I convinced him to come back into the living room. When I came in, it resembled a drill Sergeant circling one of his soldiers. Grant was standing up straight, his head down as he listened to his father. Slade wasn't yelling, but he was almost whispering so that Joey and I had to strain to hear what he was saying. Grant could hear him just fine, though. I could tell. His lips were tight like Slade would be whenever I had drilled him before we were married. I walked over so I could hear better.

"Flaunting something is also called 'haughtiness'... It's a disgraceful attitude and can be one's downfall... You want to go to that Academy? You'd better shape up... Now go apologize to your brother."

I was actually shocked at the impact that it had on Grant, who whispered, "Yes, sir."

He walked over and apologized to his brother. That evening I asked Slade what that was about and he just said that in a book that if you wanted to get something through someone's head, the natural reaction is to yell, but only if you haven't whispered sternly since that should work just fine. It has more of an impact, he said. I never even thought of that, but I thought that it was still a little harsh. He said that if I wanted, he'd reserve that unless the boys did something extremely unreasonable. I did want it and I actually hoped that he'd never do it again or be given a reason to do it.

Grant did shape up for a while after that, though. Joey started to enjoy music. He wanted to play the piano and he picked it up very easily. That was around the same time that we went to Africa, which was amazing. And I think we found what Slade had been looking for. He had always been a bit restless since he was discharged and has been forced to be careful in anything physical that he does. We went on a hunt during the second week of our vacation and that's when Slade found something that he could still exert himself with.

You should have seen him. You would have thought that he hadn't been out of the Army at all, he almost never missed. Grant was in awe and loved the dinner that we had out of what Slade had managed to get. He wanted to try to hunt himself, but I wouldn't let him near a gun at that age. Slade backed me up, knowing that I'd slug him if he let Grant touch one.

We went back, but Slade longed to return and soon did. He's been taking expeditions out there all the time now. He really enjoys it and I think I'm okay with the long trips because I can handle the boys and because I know how much he loves it. I love it when he returns home. Grant's always ecstatic, wanting to hear everything and Joey will always want to show his dad what he's made or accomplished while he was gone. And then when the evening comes, it's nice to just sit on the couch together watching a late night show and eating ice cream.

I like it when we just fall asleep there and are woken up by Grant yelling, "Mom! Dad! Ew!"

Joey will always ask, still sleepy, "Wha's gwoss 'bout tat? It's Mommy and Daddy."

It's really funny. And these trips don't just let Slade enjoy himself, he's actually become a bit famous for it. You'd never believe some of the people we've met through his passion. It does mean that Slade is away often, but still, it's all right. The only thing that I don't like is some of the... items that come with it. Slade will sometimes bring home a stuffed animal head for his office. So you can only imagine how I avoid going in there. I don't know, it just creeps me out a bit. I don't know how he does it.

When Joey turned four, he started to take singing lessons. He really loves it and his voice is advanced for his age, or at least so his teacher tells me. Whenever Slade's around, he'll teach Grant how to fight, since Grant enjoys physical challenges and thrills (you couldn't stop him from going on a roller-coaster if he saw one). They come in sweaty as Joey practices on the piano.

Today we've been cleaning out the storage in our place. Slade and I must have moved a dozen boxes. The stuff that's in all these things. It's crazy. Just old mementos. It make me feel old but I'm only in my early thirties! This shouldn't be happening to me. I found an old album of my dates with Slade. It was crazy to see how different we were then. As I was looking at it, Slade had looked over my shoulder and given me a back massage as we flipped through the pages.

I asked him if he wanted to go out to lunch today, but he said that he didn't want to. Although he would make lunch for the family, something he rarely does. Grant's been complaining about cleaning up for the last half hour. When he heard we're not going out, he started yelling out nasty comments about 'house meals'.

I think it's getting on Slade's nerves, but he's not saying anything. I've basically told him if he makes another comment he gets to clean the whole house. I really hope that this attitude of Grant's stops. I don't even know where it came from. Will came over to help us and he noticed too, but he mentioned it in an... interesting way.

"You know, Grant is just like an unrestrained version of his father," That's what he said, "He'll learn soon enough that restraint is what has kept Slade alive thus far."

I laughed. It was true. Slade does show an incredible amount of restraint on occasion. He's very reserved about himself, often focusing on others than himself as though trying to not draw attention to himself. Just like he was when we first met. The boys love being with him, always trying to show him something new that they've managed to do. They miss him when he's gone. So do I.

When he's gone, it's normally during the school year. While Grant is at school, Joey and I will do errands and do small little things that Joey asks me about. This evening we're having a large party; that's why we're cleaning a large portion of the house. It's a social event with people that Slade's met on his travels. I'm supposed to be getting ready, but I really wanted to write since I haven't done so in a while. I guess, what, it's been at least five years or so... Well, I guess I can just look at the last journal entry and check.

I'm really surprised that I'm okay with doing this, getting all glamored up for this party, for all of the parties. I mean, I hated doing this when I was young, but now I don't mind that much. I can't wait to see Joey play tonight. He begged to be the pianist for this evening because he's been practicing for months. I literally can't believe that he's been working so hard. I think that he might be trying to impress his Dad, since it _is_ his party. Grant does tend to try to hog his father's attention...

Sorry, had to take a shower; Slade caught me and shoved me in the bathroom to get ready. I guess he knows how I get at times when I focus on something. We've been married too long, it's official, lol. Well, I'm ready now and we have extra time. Grant and Joey are in their room getting into their tuxes with Slade helping them out here and there. My word, at least fifty people are going to be here tonight. I don't know how hunting can attract so many in the same area, but in any case, I guess it doesn't matter. As long as there are not random strangers walking into our house, I'm fine with it.

Oh, the caterer's here. Gotta go. I'll write soon!

Sincerely,

Adeline

PS. Are you not glad that I finally pulled you out of that dust pile? ;-D

-T-

**A/N:** I know, I know, it's as though she forgot this journal for years or something. Well, she did. I had to speed it up somehow. Oh, one thing I thought is worth mentioning. There was a part of Slade's past that both he and Addie knew about that I excluded just for the sake of this story since it's a bit irrelevant. Slade has a half-brother named Wade DeFarge who kidnapped both Joey and Grant when they were young boys, trying to convince them that their father was an evil man (even though he didn't have the proof then to back it up; he just hated Slade's guts at that point). The reason I didn't mention it was because I wanted to focus on how Addie sees Slade's relationship with their boys. Anyway, I hope that you liked it. Please review! Later!

Rena


	6. Chapter 6: Lies, Knives, and Bullets

**Disclaimer:** Don't get me started! I have a million ways to say that I don't own Teen Titans. Want to know why? It's because I don't. And it's the truth.

**Author's Note:** Well, isn't this going to be a spicy little chapter. I'm guessing if you've already read the title, you might have guessed what this chapter is about. And you're probably right. If you haven't, well, you'll figure it out after you read the first line. I guess, if you've read the comics... I think it's a bit of a different take – not too different, but Addie's in a bit of shock. Okay she's in a lot of shock! Sorry, it's just how it is. Alright, you want to me to shut my mouth? Alright! "Journal Entry #6: Lies, Knives, and Bullets"!

-T-

**Sincerely Adeline**

**Journal Entry #6: Lies, Knives, and Bullets**

Journal...

I...I...

I, I shot him.

I shot him. I, what have I done? What have done? I'm in a frenzy of hyperventilating and tears and shudders. He was... Oh my... what have I done? Thank goodness Joey's still asleep. I couldn't let him see me like this. And Grant's not here either. Still at school. Still doesn't know anything.

I keep trying to justify it. What else could I have done? He was... He lied. I can't believe how... gullible and... and...trusting I was. He lied and now Joey's suffering in the hospital for it! He's in the hospital! All because of that horrid lie.

My mind continues to flash back to the sound of the gun firing, the force rattling up my arm, and the... image of Slade on the ground holding his head and his fingers turning... red...

Red.

Just gotta breathe. Just gotta breathe... I don't even know if I should go home or not if Slade's still alive. And I hate to say this, but right now, I hope he's not.

I'm sorry. Yes, I did. I did love him. I just hope that I wasn't crazy, too. It started a we..week ago. Slade, he was in Africa, or I think he was, I don't know what was a lie or truth anymore... But it's what he told me. I was home and Joey was asleep. Asleep. I had tucked him into bed and had told him a story to get him to sleep. I was just cleaning up. And then the glass broke and these outrageously dressed men in black and red came storming into the house with guns in their hands.

I had no idea what was going on, but I grabbed a dish and threw it at one of them. Somehow, I got one of their guns and started firing at them since they had already attacked me. I thought that most had left, but not all of them. I started to choke and only heard 'we got the kid, now Deathstro...' before I passed out.

You'll never know a nightmare. Never.

Not unless you wake up and run up to see if your kid is still asleep and find the bed sheets messy and they're empty. I called through out the whole house. Joey was gone. I stumbled and found myself on the ground. Just sobbing. Finally, I regained my senses and got up to call Slade.

He answered, "Hello?"

And I couldn't answer back, I just choked and started to sob again as I heard him continue, "Addie? Addie? What's wrong? Are you alright?"

I coughed and whipped away my tears with my sleeve answering, "Joey, Slade, Joey's... Joey's gone."

The receiver seemed dead on the other line as though Slade had just been hit and was shocked at it, "He's gone? What do you mean he's gone?"

Suddenly fury erupted in me and I yelled, "He's gone! They took him! Some crazy men in black and red burst into the house, knocked me out, and took him!"

"They took him, Slade, he's gone." That's all I remember clearly.

Slade was home within ten hours. And, somehow, he remained so calm. I didn't understand anything. We got a ransom about fifteen minutes after he got home. They kept yelling over the phone things I didn't understand. They wanted to see some terminator named 'Deathstroke'. Kept yelling about money, information, a man named 'The Jackel'. Slade sounded furious and continued to answer them, but threatening to kill them if they hurt Joey.

I was still frantic. We hadn't called Grant yet, but there didn't seem to be time. Slade started to pace around in the family room. I got angry, saying he wasn't doing anything, but he cut me off, telling me that it was a delicate matter. I said that I didn't care and that I just wanted Joey back. My ranting continued.

"And who is this 'Deathstroke' that they keep talking about? What does Joey have to do with some, some, vigilante?" I asked, feeling out of my mind.

"Addie, please sit down."

"Slade!"

"Addie, bear with me. The Terminator, Deathstroke, he's a super-powered mercenary," he told me bluntly, but he paused as though it was hard for him to choke out the rest. "The best there is. He's a paid assassin who has never missed."

Not only was I bewildered at who this person was, but I was surprised that Slade knew this. I didn't even know about this and I had been in the Army longer than he had, "What does that have to do with us?"

But the pieces sort of clicked as I looked at his face. It was drawn and solemn. Serious, sad, but resolved to the truth, "My... extra abilities, powers... they never left me. I only told you that they did."

"I'm Deathstroke."

And he left. Going off to his study. I just watched him and the door click behind me. As I waited, the puzzle pieces fell into place. He never worked out with me around. A skilled hunter... trained in fighting methods of a wide variety. But it was too, too... wild to believe. It didn't even hit me. Not until he stepped out. I felt my mouth drop.

He was dressed, again outrageously, but like a fighter. A warrior, a modern day warrior. The weapons, they ranged from guns to a stylized sword. It was... mind blowing. Especially when he, when he pulled off the orange mask that he wore and revealed my husband underneath. I got up and just stared. He had kept such a huge lie from me? The people at the parties? Were they hunting fans or people who wanted to hire him to kill someone? How long had this been going on?

But somehow, I managed to walk up to him and made him promise to get Joey back safely, to have him take me with him to wherever this Jackel person was, where our son was. Slade acted... He wasn't the person I knew. The person I had married. The plane ride was quiet. He flew the plane, something I didn't even know that he could do as well as he did.

I was angry. I had all of these unresolved questions and he knew it and refused to tell me anything, as though the less I knew the better. I didn't care about that and I also knew that we had been married long enough for Slade to know that. Unless _he_ thought that _I_ had some big secret side of _me_ that _I_ wasn't telling _him_ about.

The only thing that didn't keep me from screaming at him for answers was the fact that getting Joey back was what mattered most at the moment. When we landed, it was dark, and deserted. Slade took me around old back roads that didn't seem friendly at all. I cringed at the idea that Joey was around here, was being held in such a horrible place.

When I heard a voice calling out to Slade, I nearly jumped, nearly. But I didn't. I did though, turn to see a man in an overcoat. Jackel, I guessed, and I was right. He wanted information. Someone his employer worked for was killed by Slade. I glanced at Slade when he had said that. It was then that I really realized that Slade was indeed, actually doing what he said he was doing. All Jackel wanted was for Slade to tell him who hired him to do so in the first place.

That's when I heard it, "Mommy!"

I saw Joey still in his pajamas on a small box, with the kidnappers behind him. One held a knife to Joey's throat. I swallowed hard and then heard Slade talk. It was his professional job to not reveal that information, but Jackel laughed and I saw the knife at Joey's throat shimmer in the light.

My throat tightened and I turned to Slade yelling, "Just tell him! They're going to kill him!"

Slade didn't say anything as Jackel pleaded my own case. I continued, "Nothing's worth that! Nothing! Slade, please!"

"My bond is." Then he shoved me aside. I shook my head and witnessed Slade move faster than any other man I had ever seen. He took out every single one of the men. Every one of them, in a matter of seconds. I only heard one soft scream, though.

At the end of it, I turned to see Joey as did Slade. He was lying on the ground, and he wasn't moving. I thought he was dead. Slade picked Joey up and yelled at me to get in the jet. I saw Slade's hand covering Joey's throat, who was unconscious. He carried Joey onto the plane and yelled for me to get in the back and hold a cloth to Joey's throat. I didn't dare want to think of why. Slade managed to get the jet to a hospital close by. On the flight, I saw the white cloth turn red.

After that, it was a blur. I saw Slade change into civilian clothes. We landed and doctors took Joey into the hospital. Once he was stable, that were able to move Joey back to the hospital closest to home. Slade paid the doctors to keep quiet about what happened, not something that I'm proud of.

I never left him. But Slade did. At first he told me that he would go to Grant's school to make sure Grant was okay too, but I haven't heard from him since. Joey and I had been in the hospital for about a day or two before Joey actually woke up. Joey's doctor, he was able to get Joey enough blood, but... there wasn't any way to repair the damage done.

Joey, when he woke up, he looked up at me and tried to make a sound. Anything. He couldn't and I thought of the alley that we were in when he last said 'Mommy.' The worse part was that I knew what would happen and yet I couldn't be strong enough for him. I started to feel tears well up in my eyes. I had lost count of how many times I cried, but this time, I cried for Joey. The tears for him were enough to put him back to sleep, but I didn't. I kept crying. And crying. All that Joey loved, all that my son lived for, it was gone. That singing. The ability to express himself with words. Gone.

But I didn't just cry. I felt the anger build. The hurt. The betrayal. The lies. That shimmering knife forever ingrained into my memory. I had nightmares when I finally did asleep. Nightmares that weren't about Grant, Joey, or myself, but of Deathstroke; Of who my husband was. It scared me and somehow made me afraid. I knew that I could still talk to Slade the same way, but it was like talking to a stranger.

A deadly and dangerous one, that was a threat to my family.

Somehow my mind came up with an answer that must have come from somewhere in the back of my mentality. I went back home today. I found him there, upstairs. The nerve. He was here all of this time when he should be with Joey. Yeah, sure, he cared. Like I totally believe that. I went into the basement, where we had storage and things that we haven't used in years. I quietly looked through some of my old boxes and found what I was looking for.

A pistol.

I hid it in the back pocket of my jeans and went back upstairs. He was... Deathstroke, not my husband at the time. He wasn't going to act like it, anyway. I already knew that. I remember acting bitter, saying that Joey would live if he didn't know. Slade told me that he was sorry about Joey, but...

"I just couldn't compromise my professional standing."

Not _even_ for his _son_.

"Addie, don't you get it? I haven't been a full person since the army kicked me out. This, being able to push myself like this. Try harder, be better then I ever thought that I could be. I needed something. I found it in Africa and it evolved. Being the Terminator is it." Something like that. Did I care?

"So killing people and being a big bad guy makes you complete? Some complete-ness." I stated.

"You don't have to look at it like that," Slade said, like there was another sane way of looking at it.

At that point, I started to pull the pistol out of my pocket, slowly so as not to alert him. He was forgetting that I had trained him. I knew what was in half of those books that he read. It was me who knew how to get the advantage when it came to fighting him. Incredibly slow minded, that's what he was being. Not that I minded that at the moment.

He muttered, "I have to go, we'll talk more when I get back." I didn't respond, and maybe that's when he noticed something was wrong.

I was just about to pull the trigger when he turned. I remember just shaking my head at him. I couldn't help him. Not anymore. He didn't bother to help Joey. No. He didn't bother a bit. I felt like an idiot, somehow, Slade had managed to keep such a secret from me. A dangerous one.

And he didn't care.

He didn't. If he cared about our safety, he would have said something; said that we were in danger. I see his logic as to why he didn't, but it doesn't make a difference to me. What about Joey and Grant? What about them? Grant, he's going to be devastated by whatever happens. Joey will never speak again, never sing, never make another sound come from his throat all because he didn't care.

And I'll never believe the lie that he cares again.

In all of this hurt and heartache, I keep asking: Did he ever love me?

I remember thinking how could I have loved him? All I knew was that I did. Was it all in vain? Was it all some fairytale that he just ruined with... reality. I don't want it to be reality. I keep thinking about when we would spend an evening out together just to be together. The days when we would get ready for bed and he'd kiss me goodnight. What did any of those kisses mean? What did any of it mean? Was this what he thought?

_'I wouldn't do this, except I have to keep up this lie. You're just too pretty a face to disappoint.'_

_'I love you, honey, goodnight.'_

I don't know which one it was. And it hurts to know I could have been played all this time as a loving fool. And yet, at the same time, somehow, I feel like it doesn't matter because there's so much that could happen now that I have to worry about. If he lives... Divorce. That's what I'm going to have to do. He's going to want custody of the kids. And now... are they going to call me sane?

What have I done? What has happened to my life?

It's late, they want me to go to bed, the doctors in the hospital.

I'll... I'll write, hopefully soon.

Sincerely,

Adeline

-T-

**A/N:** I don't know about you, but I liked that chapter. No idea why, she's a mess and grief stricken, but, yeah. I liked it. I hope you liked it, too. Please Review! And yeah, um, so, is he. One more chapter to go. But don't worry, those of you who have enjoyed this story will be happy to know that I've been drafting another story which I think you'll like since our guy, Slade, is in it and I'm personally super excited for it. I don't know, just giving you a heads up. I'll be back soon with the next chapter! Later!

Rena

**_"_**


	7. Chapter 7: No, You Don't

**Disclaimer:** I can't tell you how many times I've said this because I've lost count, but here it is: I own nothing. I don't own them. Now every one's happy.

**Author's Note:** I can't believe this is over! I'm going to miss this story. I'll have Anonymous Review Replies posted for this story up on my Putfile homepage for a month by the way (you can find it via my profile here). Loved it too much. One of my summer stories. I'd have to love it. But even still, I had a lot of fun writing this. Don't be sad, though! Guess what I've done. I have two new one-shots out, plus, I've got another story out on the way! Tomorrow actually, it should be up. And it stars our favorite villain of all time (well, if you're reading this, I'm guessing he's one of your favorites). The title (still yet to be decided upon), is either going to be Custody. But enough with that. I guess I have to get to telling the ending eventually. BTW, I've changed some facts to fit the Cartoon Canon; just giving you a heads up. So please, enjoy the final chapter I'm presenting to you: "No, You Don't"!

-T-

**Sincerely Adeline**

**Journal Entry #7: No, You Don't**

Dear Journal,

I saw him today. I saw Slade. It's... been a while. Years. Joey and Grant are, I guess, teenagers now. And Slade looks like he's, well, like life hasn't been all that friendly to him. He asked to meet in a place outside of Jump. It's changed so much since I last came here. It's a beautiful city. The beaches were full of people thanks to the water being the right temperature.

And there's also a tower. A T-shaped tower in the middle of the bay on the only island. They call it 'Titans Tower' and it's there because Jump City has new defenders, the Teen Titans. Joey told me about them before. But I couldn't help but think that if some people left, there wouldn't be a reason to have teenagers risking their lives. On the way out to meet Slade, I stopped for dinner at a restaurant. They gave me a paper and I was horrified to see a familiar mask on the cover with the title 'Bigger Plans in Store?'. I couldn't eat after that. Plans? He was making plans now?

I even drove out to the beach to look at the Tower. It just stood proudly in the middle, the light almost dancing around it. It was hard to imagine how things have taken such a change. I walked to my car though after that feeling worse than before. When I got out at the spot where we were supposed to meet, I was alone. But not for long. I heard sounds coming from the woods nearby the clearing of the mountain side. But it scared me when it wasn't Slade emerging from them. These, metal things did, robots, and went up to me and then they left. I stood still, not wanting to move, but then I heard a name.

"Addie?" And I turned to see... Deathstroke, "It's been a long time."

"Adeline, Slade, you can call me Adeline," I said, "I'm assuming those... things are yours?"

Slade sighed, "Yes, they're mine."

"And what do you want me to call you now? Slade, Deathstroke, Terminator, any or all of the above?" I snapped, suddenly angry at him.

Slade took off his mask, which had changed from being all orange to one half being black and the other orange. He was still young as he pulled off the mask. Still handsome. He still looked like the man that I had once loved. But I could never love him again after what he did.

"Slade's fine. Deathstroke has become a bit more of a... professional title, a step above dangerous," Arrogant little backstabber.

He asked me how I was doing. I said I was fine. He mentioned that he was happy that I came. I said that I wasn't. There was silence. I looked up at him again. There was a difference in his appearance. My bullet had found something to target. Slade wore a black eye patch over his right eye. His hair fell partly in his face as he looked at me. I shook my head. He wanted to talk about the kids, but I had other things to ask him.

"Any word about Grant?" He asked.

"No," I answered, "But, I think he's okay. He knows how to survive nearly anywhere."

After I got a call from Slade after I supposedly killed him, we divorced. But I couldn't have full custody. I got to see the kids most of the time though. Three hundred and sixty three days while Slade saw them only two days. He said that he didn't mind and traveled during that time anyway.

Grant continued to go to military school. He... almost graduated. But he... When he heard that we were getting a divorce, Grant sort of lost it. He wasn't the same. He was angry at both of us, but because he saw me 24/7, he took it out on me. I couldn't talk sense into him. He got angry because when I was talking to Joey I needed all my attention for it and he complained, his behavior getting worse. He was only here for the summer but during the summer between his junior and senior year, he left. I called everybody and the police, but we... never found him.

I hate myself for that, wishing I could have done something. But the unstable life was hard enough. Joey, Slade and I had agreed to never tell Grant what really happened unless he needed to know. We claimed that Joey had fallen down on a hard rail and that's how he lost his voice. There was no knife involved. We never told him how his father was Deathstroke. Slade told him about Deathstroke, but he never said a word about him being Deathstroke. And we covered up that Slade had lost his eye due to the fact that while he was in Africa something went wrong with the gun he was using.

I think that's why Grant hated being with us. He was lied to, for his own sake. But not because we didn't love him, we thought it would be better for him. In Grant's eyes though, he saw his mother and father, a perfectly happy couple, get a divorce just for the heck of getting a divorce. There was no justice in it from his understanding. And he and Joey never got along.

Grant hated learning sign language. He hated having to actually look at Joey to see what he was saying. That broke my heart. He thought that Joey might have been the cause for Slade and I to break up, that Joey's accident made me go nuts about the kids' safety or something. Of course, it was true, except it happened differently. And Joey... I felt bad because Joey felt like it was the truth at times. I told him if it is, I was happy that it was. Because I don't know if I could have bared finding out later on in my life.

"How's Joey been?" He inquired.

"Joey's fine, but, I assume you already knew that," I told him, "He joined the Teen Titans anyway."

Slade raised a brow. So he didn't know that. I think the best thing I ever did was keep this secret, another secret from Slade. Joey, well... Once Joey was able to stay awake and was physically healed, we were able to leave the hospital. But we had to come back for days after that. Because Joey couldn't talk, he needed a new form of communication, sign language. Ever try learning a foreign language just to pass a class? You learn nothing. Then if you suddenly have to use the language all of the time, you learn it? Well, that's what happened. Joey picked up sign language easier than I did, but he _had_ to learn it.

The only thing was that Joey became depressed by it. I found him staring almost at nothing except for pictures of people and animals on the walls of the house while doing nothing but have a frown on his face. Grant didn't make it any better. Even though I was divorced, the dangers that came with knowing Slade still followed me. I remember one time, a stranger came up to me, he was a killer as well, one who wanted to get some revenge. I tried to fight him, but it didn't help. Joey came into the room and caught sight of the stranger. The next moment, the killer had backed away and started yelling "I can't control myself, what's going on!?!"

He was unconscious a moment later and then Joey appeared to the side of him on the ground. Joey and I were both scared by and curious about this ability. I finally figured that Joey must have been able to do what he did thanks to his father's genes that had been altered when we had had him. Joey was able to 'jump' into bodies and control them. It could be anyone as long as they were alive. Joey just had to make eye contact. Joey and I practiced and finally, Joey could control this. I neglected to mention this from Slade since I felt it was a good defense, just in case, and Joey agreed.

We found that since I was divorced from Slade, I was not a primary target like Joey and Grant were since they had their father's genes. With Grant already on his own and with no way of anyone really recognizing him as being Slade's son, we didn't have to worry about Grant. Joey though, by living with me was in obvious danger. I still had records that tied me with Slade so finding Joey would have been a breeze.

Joey and I agreed that the best thing for Joey was to travel. Our home would always be open to him, but overall, he'd live on his own. Joey didn't mind that. He might not be Grant, but I had taught him as did Slade, how to take care of one's self. And that worked for a while. I felt bad for doing that, but Joey would write me telling me he was okay and to not feel sorry. He took a guitar and a credit card. That was it.

Recently though, Joey took on another name. Jericho. Somewhere along the way, he wrote telling me of an experience where he was able to help someone by using his gift. And he had read about others, the vigilantes, the superheroes. He wanted to help those when he could. Then, there was something, some sort of threat and Jericho met 'Beast Boy', a Teen Titan. Beast Boy offered him membership and he accepted.

"His name is Jericho, heard of him?"

Slade thought for a moment, "He's in their database. I've heard of him. Didn't know he was a body jumper, though."

I sneered, "Did I forget to mention it? Just like you forgot to mention Deathstroke? Oops. I'm so sorry. Didn't know you cared."

Slade's eye narrowed, but he held his tongue as I continued, "So what have you been doing? Huh? I've heard you've got 'Bigger Plans' for Jump. Have the Titans been messing up your plans? What sort of crimes have you been able to commit lately and get away with?"

Slade remained quiet, then answered, "Addie, Adeline, it's complicated."

"Oh yeah, beating on teenagers must be tough."

"An alien, a cyborg, a changeling, a witch, and a top form martial artist and detective actually is a little bit of a challenge. I'd like to see you try," Slade snapped.

"Oh, no thanks, I'd like to keep my sanity," I told him.

"Sorry, but my sanity is just fine," He shot back, "And what have you been doing? I've heard about Searchers Inc. Don't think I wouldn't do something like that."

We bickered for a while. But it was mostly me who shot insults at him. Slade just watched the water lapping the cliff and the sun going down. He seemed to be thinking about something, but I didn't know what it was. He muttered things. I told him he looked worse than ever before, when in reality, I had to admit, he still looked pretty good. I wasn't about to tell him that, though.

The stories came out bit by bit. He had heard things about a kid that sounded like Grant. But he hadn't bothered on finding him, figuring it was probably best if he didn't for now. I told him about Searchers, how it was growing, how I had funded it with my own money. It passed as a detective agency and it was, but it did other things as well. Slade seemed to only want to know to show me that I kept secrets too.

Slade told me about how he has been living in Jump. He told me that he had been fighting the Titans for sometime. He had originally been working to find an... apprentice. This was news to me and baffled me a bit. I never thought that Slade would think like that. But apparently he did. He originally went after Robin. I had heard of Robin, he was the only one I had heard about other than Beast Boy. Robin was well known as their leader in this city and he was also a protege' of a legend in another city, Gotham, where I had moved to for a while.

Slade had somehow managed to get Robin to work for him, but Robin hated it and eventually rebuked Slade and got out of some twisted deal. Then another had come, a girl called Terra. She was a Geo-Morph and could control the earth, but her power was unstable. Slade offered her control if she would be his apprentice. Slade said that the girl nearly killed him in the end, but he had gotten lucky. I silently wondered how many people have actually tried to kill Slade and had failed. Slade came in contact with a demonic being, the father of one of the Titans, Raven. He offered Slade a life force if he helped him destroy the world. Slade did, but helped the Titans bring the world back to it's original state. He had stayed under the radar since then, but was still keeping an eye on the Titans

"If you want, I won't fight Joey," He offered.

"Oh don't go easy on him just because he happens to be your son. It's not like you care, anyway," I spat.

Slade finally turned to me, "It's been good to see you. You haven't changed."

"Unlike you," I said, my back facing him, "Is there anything else that you'd like to discuss before I go?"

"Just one thing." Slade said.

He put his hand on my shoulder and I turned to face him, rather then have him touch me. I kept my eyes away from his. I suddenly thought of all the times when something like that would have been so welcomed. I felt myself choke, but caught myself before I made a sound.

"You're so beautiful when you're angry, you know that?" I rolled my eyes at the lame pick up line. I repeat what I said before; I asked what he wanted.

"To say I'm sorry that I hurt you with all of this," He whispered.

"If you were sorry, you would have stopped what you've been doing after what happened to Joey. Don't apologize for something that you're not sorry for, Slade," I whispered back.

I could feel Slade look at me, watching me, wondering what I'd do next. I wanted him to stop. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but refused to let them fall. He was so... perfect. The perfect man. So wonderful and sweet, even if he didn't express things often and was away half the time. Even now, it still hurts to know that it was probably all a charade. Wintergreen, he's said many times that it wasn't a charade; that the only lie was that he had another life as Deathstroke. But I honestly don't know how I can believe that.

I'll never be able to trust him again. He called me 'Addie' and I told him to call me 'Adeline'. I love how he says my name. Both of them, but Addie in particular. Yet, I don't want him to say it anymore in case I get attached. It's so weird to think that you can remember the tiny details and the things that someone says when they mean something. I remember how he would play with my wet hair when I had just gotten out of the shower and how when we would go out his cologne was the stronger on the right side of his chest. I remember his quiet laughter at a joke that Grant would tell him.

He walked up to me a little closer. Just like when he would come up to me right before he asked me to dance. He hesitantly reached up at my cheek. Maybe it was because I was tired, maybe it was because I liked remembering the feeling I got from when he did it. I felt him raise my head and saw his eye looking at me. My vision was going blurry. I felt like he wanted to kiss me, but wouldn't out of respect. Would it be that bad?

"I never meant to hurt you, Addie. I still care about you," He told me.

I felt my jaw begin to tremble and had one thought, _'Not here, not now, not ever.'_

I pushed his hand away and started to walk back to my car. I turned back as I walked, "No. You don't."

I pulled my jacket tighter and held myself as I walked. I remember tears slipping down my cheeks and pulling my hand up to cover my face. I knew he was watching me, but he'd turn away so that he could try to ignore what I said. The car ride back seemed longer than ever after the realization I had as I walked to open the door. I just sat down on the bed in the hotel I'm staying at. My mascara trickling down my cheeks. I haven't cried this much in years. And seeing the man I once called my husband so... different then I had ever known him. It hurts.

I think what the worse thing out of all this is that... As much as it hurts... As much as I know that he put everything I love in danger... And as much as I hate him and hate to say this...

I'm still in love with him.

Sincerely,

Adeline

**The End.**

-T-

**A/N:** Well? Did you like it? Enjoy the ending? Hope you did. Please Review! I can't believe the summer's over, but I guess it's only natural. Maybe I'll do a sequel next summer. In any case, I had fun and I hope that you enjoyed it. Best of luck in school (if you attend school)! If not, best of luck this year in anything! Later!

Rena


End file.
